Selfish or not I 31 male been diagnosed with a chronic illness that could stay the same or could get worse, this chronic illness will not shorten my life it's just the matter of pain management, try and keep myself out of pain and take tablets etc, would it be selfish of me to get a dnr in place, been thinking about this for years even before my diagnosis, only thing is I'm scared that people will think it's selfish and that I should stick around no matter what happens
š¢ š„ š„ŗ 3 Ā· 2 comments
1w Ex Boyfriend My ex boyfriend was an asshole.
So when I was dating him for the 2 months that we dated. I was happy at first, but then he disappeared, he stoped answering my texts when he used to text me a lot. I realized later on that that was psychological abuse. Pulling away after lots of affection makes that person chase you for your approval or attention. I got him gifts, sometimes hand made, I never got one. We would walk to the library for our dates on Wednesdays, he cancelled 3-5 times right before school ended. 2 of those times he just didnāt show up and had me waiting for a long time. He made me feel worthless, nothing.
You think it canāt get worse, well it did. He had a crush on a different girl the whole time, I didnāt even know the girl.
His friend group talked about porn all the time, I hated it. Every time I tried to get his attention for something he wouldnāt even acknowledge me.
My Beach Trip to an Unknown Place I went on a beach trip to a beach Iāve never been to before, and we went on a boat ride I loved it. But later that day when I went to go get a daiquiri, I thought we were leaving at 5pm not 2:30pm. Our hotel had both those times for pick up. So when i suddenly had to wash off my feet after my brother and mom, I was ok.
Until, they left me to turn on the water I had my hands full with my bag and drink, I had to ask a literal stranger to hold my bag, I set my drink on the concrete. And my family still walked away, they didnāt even wait for me. The stranger was kinder than my own family. But to make it even worse they acted like my sort of slowness was my fault. I was a minor, left alone in an unknown place, having to ask strangers for a bit of help.
A Moment of Humiliation This was the day everything changed.
Since Grade 11, when our family house in the Philippines was being renovated, my parents asked me to take charge of managing the construction. At that time, I was studying in a province about three hours away from home. Every week, I traveled back and forth just to oversee the construction, buy materials, and make sure everything was running smoothly.
Despite those responsibilities, I never allowed them to become an excuse. I studied hard and still graduated as one of the top students in Senior High School.
A month after graduation, I decided to leave the province and continue my studies in another city in the Philippines. I enrolled late because I was uncertain about studying somewhere farther away, but I eventually committed to pursuing Radiologic Technology.
As time passed, I reached my third year in college.
After completing my third year, my parents decided to travel, and during that time I carried even more responsibilities at home. Although my aunt initially helped look after my siblings, many conflicts eventually arose. There were painful accusations, including being called thieves and even having death wished upon us. Through it all, I tried my best to protect my siblings from experiencing more trauma and emotional pain.
I continued to manage the household while balancing my studies. Whenever my sister or my nephew needed someone, I was there. I cooked, cleaned, handled responsibilities at home, and continued doing everything I could while trying to succeed in school.
Then came the day I was supposed to enroll for my fourth year.
Instead of enrolling, I discovered that I had failed one subjectāMRI. It was the first subject I had ever failed.
I went home without being able to enroll.
My father asked, āHave you already enrolled?ā
I answered honestly, āNot yet. I have one failed subject, so I need to talk to the dean first.ā
The moment they heard that, everything changed.
My parents didnāt ask what happened or give me the chance to explain. Instead, they began saying things that cut deeply into my heart.
They told me I was wasting their money.
They said, āI thought you were smart.ā
They accused me of cheating and copying from others.
Then, right after saying those things to me, they gathered my siblings and started asking them academic questions, almost as if they were making an example out of me. At that moment, I felt completely humiliated.
What hurt the most was not failing one subject.
It was feeling that everything I had sacrificed over the years suddenly meant nothing.
Didnāt they realize I had been managing the construction of our house for years?
Didnāt they realize I spent countless hours taking care of our family while trying to keep up with school?
Didnāt they realize how difficult it was to balance college, household responsibilities, and protecting my siblings through family conflicts?
Didnāt they realize that whenever my sister or my nephew needed someon
College Decision Having divorced parents, itās finally come to that time where I have to choose where to study at. Money is tight, so I canāt live in a dorm. Itās either momās or dadās house. At dadās, my external world improved drastically. Health, academics, finances ā all great. All this, in exchange for not being able to be myself. Performing to please, putting on a mask. Concealing my vulnerabilities. No one really knows me. But itās honestly harder to live at momās with imited finances/necessities, bad logistics. But here, I can recognize who I am. At the end of the day, Iām able to surround myself with people who donāt drain my battery.
Either way, wherever I choose, I know Iāll be stressed. Either with suppressing who I am or with a bad living situation. I canāt help but still feel robbed of both parents under the same roof but what can I do? Anyway, all this has honestly thrown me into a big depressive episode. College is looming, yet Iām still terribly unsure of what to do. I need help. Or advice, or anything.
Nice guys always finish last Idk how to start this but here we go,
I 31 male, has his own house, car, decent job, looks like I've got it all worked out and together but in reality people don't know my struggles, I've recently lost weight looking alot healthier than I use to, but since loosing weight I've started with health issues, in pain daily gone through endless testing 2 mri's, ct scan, dopler scan everything came back fine no issues other than diverticulitis I have got every doctor and specialist confused on what's causing the pain, always tired never can sleep and feel refreshed, my confidence is nil and void been on plenty of dates etc nothing has worked out at all, if you ask anyone I'm the nicest guy you'll meet, etc I've been single for 3 years now and getting to the point of what's the whole point of life, day by day my pain is getting worse and I can feel myself giving up, I'm not hear to make you feel sorry for me I just need a vent, even though from the outside of things life is great, got things most people struggle with these days, but I still feel like I'm a failure at life? Maybe I'm too hard on myself but I'm no where near where I wanna be
I have a girlfriend but.. But I don't know how I feel, I already have a hard enough time to get out of bed in general, i tried to break up with her, but every time i try, she just kinda says no and that she loves me and if i love her i'll do better, but, i have no motivation to do so, i use most of my motivation on work, and then she's asking if i want to hang out, but that's when my battery is low and it's past 9pm, she hardly texts me throughout the day when i'm not busy, but whenever i'm busy that's when she actually wants to hang out with me, and she has my work schedule, i don't know what to do, i have so much love for her, but i just feel like everything on me right now is killing me mentally and physically..
š¢ š„ŗ š« 4 Ā· 1 comment
7w im lost, alone, and feel helpless when something wrong happens in my relationship i completely shut down i donāt let my feelings come out any other time and it makes me explode, i wake up wishing something would have taken my life for me because i know i donāt have to guts to do it myself, i feel alone with friends, family, and a good relationship. i constantly feel like somethingās wrong with me when im not in the wrong, i feel like the spark in my relationship is dying because i just need him to listen to me instead of trying to fix it immediately. my head & feelings have complete control over me, i dont want to talk to anyone, i dont want to eat, i dont want to sleep, i just dont want to do anything, im on a constant spiral and feel like im losing at everything in life. i want to give up but what good is it going to do i feel guilty even thinking about giving up on everything & everyone.
Idk What to Do? Thereās this guy in my friend group, and honestly I only see him as a friend, but somehow I still like him in a way I canāt explain. Itās not about looks or anything superficial. I like him because heās sincere, kind, and never judges me based on my face or appearance. Heās just so free-spirited, like the wind, and being around him feels easy and comforting.
Am i the bad and how should i continue Well, six months ago I met a woman, we talked on the phone for a month and then I went to see her at work on Friday, we talked and it was great, so I went again day later and we ended up in the car and we had sex together (i had her agreement), but I recently found out from her that I was too quick, but she didn't want anything to do with it and couldn't say no to me. She has bad memories of that and we haven't really talked for six months and she doesn't want to see me (at least now) and she says that she's fine if we just text each other, but I want to have a normal conversation with her in person but I don't want to be a burden again, what should I do?
š« š„ŗ š¢ 4 Ā· 4 comments
10w I hide cash in my best friends house and have been for two years This all started my I meet my bestfriend lets call her E in 2024. E's family aren't the most fortunate family in the aspects of money I've known this since I meet them. I first met E through a mutual friend and me and her clicked instantly we spent the whole summer we first met together going on 'adventures' having sleepovers and we also went camping. I love E she is my world and she really saved me when I was at my lowest as I like to think I did for her. Her family took me in when I had issues at home and have always offered me a place to stay. I usually brought me and E food for lunch and or tea and snacks everytime time i was there and refused to let her pay (also getting her mum chocolates every so often) One day when I was round they didn't have milk and her mum needed it to make something (her mum had always been kind to me and really helped me alot I see her as a mother figure and I have so much love for her) I offered to go buy milk for the shop but she said they couldn't afford it at that time, I said no worries and that I would pay. She was very thankful and I reassured her is was the least I could do considering all that they did and continue to do for me so me and E went to the shop and brought some milk for her, I really had no problem doing this considering I have a job that pays well, I don't buy alot of things apart from monthly hairdye and occasional body jewelry as I have quite a few piercings. we got back with the milk, I made her a cuppa and me and E went into her room to watch TV and chat, as you do. Anyway E ended up telling me that her and her mum do 'money hunts' round the house when they're tight for money, this entails checking under the sofa, checking sofa cushions, the laundry pile etc to find loose change. She laughed and told me some funny stories about these hunts and I laughed along with her.
Thats when it began.
I started hiding loose change (20ps, 50p, Ā£1/2 coins) around the house and the occasional Ā£5 note. Everytime I came to her house I left around Ā£4 worth in change in spots where I knew they'd look, sometimes putting some in E's money box.
They still dont know and I'm never going to tell them. I do this because I love them so much her and her family are so good to me and so kind to me and have genuinely just taken me in over the past two years, her and her parents have gone above and beyond for me and her brothers always kind and treats me as if I'm his sister too.
I have kept this secret for 2 whole years and plan to for many many more.
š® ā¤ļø š 5 Ā· 2 comments
11w One time, I was a complete ogre of a patron at a restaurant and it still haunts me. Hi everyone,
This is a story about a time that I was a complete ogre of a customer at a restaurant.
My girlfriend and I live in a bit of a food desert, and there really aren't very many nice, privately owned restaurants with high-quality food in the town closest to us (we're out in the country). Being foodies, we enjoy finding nice places together. We had been together for about two years at this point, and I wanted to take us out on a date to a nice restaurant. There was this French/middle eastern fusion restaurant that she had been bringing up for a while, and it was basically the only privately owned restaurant in our town that we hadn't tried.
We get there and are impressed by the atmosphere and views from inside the restaurant, but that's where the positives end. I order a gin and tonic and receive what is basically just gin on the rocks. I wouldn't have minded in my younger years, but I'm not trying to be incapacitated before appetizers.
š® š¢ š„ŗ 5 Ā· 2 comments
11w