I always complain about college, but when I'm off on a break I feel empty

I have realized that going to school filters my emotions. It catches the big things before they can actually get to me, and then slowly diffuse them into my life. But now that I'm on a summer break, I feel completely exposed. Like all the what ifs have hit me. What if I waited longer? What if I communicated better? What if I didn't break up with him? What if he noticed me?